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I find adages, such as "Things are never what they seem," while good advice, tend to have a sinister quality about them. As if we should beware the things that we are already unable to control. Sort of like that other adage, "Be careful what you wish for..." That line just seems so unfair. Wishes are meant to be filled with hope, joy for the future, and exuberance over the possibilities of life. Being careful states there is a future involving a certain level of pain and/or death.
Turns out, from my experience, both are possible from making one wish.
And turns out, there's more drama in my window than the entirety of my life in the year of 2010.
**Note: When I say morning, from now on, I mean technically after noon but it felt like morning because it was foggy outside.
So, this morning I hear this Fly buzzing around my room, making a racket. It's loud. It's annoyingly constant. I consider opening my window, although it was freezing. But, I don't. Instead I just wish, "Something please make this Fly and this noise go away."
For a moment I forget about it, typing in Maggie Gyllenhaal into google search. But, then I hear the buzz again only this time it is FEROCIOUS BUZZING.
I look up and there is the Fly, up in the high corner of my window. And it's staying in this one spot, vibrating with a fury. The shaking becomes more and more frantic, as if it's trying to win the Best Of award from Good Vibes.
That's when this huge, giant, Shelob-Is-My-Bitch Spider comes creeping down to the struggling, now very much caught Fly.
I could hear the Fly respond to its surprise company a la "Oh FUCK THIS." and it starts buzzing/vibrating even more.
But it's too late. The Fly is caught--the struggling only seems to strengthen the hold the webbing has on it. The web continues to vibrate at a hummingbird rate and the Spider is like barely able to walk along the planks of it's web. After walking around the fly, surveying it's very upset prey, it seemingly walks away. Only it doesn't. The Spider has taken a thread of the net that surrounds The Fly and slowly pulls on it and thus, the Fly, back up to it's layer, hidden in the wood work of the window.
And I'm standing there staring, horrified.
And I can't look away.
The Fly keeps making it's horrendous noise. But, all I can hear is my wish I had made minutes earlier. Please just make this Fly and this noise go away.
In a twist of dark humor, it occurs to me that the later half of the wish has yet to come true.
But then fly then stops buzzing.
I freeze.
It buzzes once again, in a final whimper attempt to flee, even though I can't even see it from my stance, five feet below in the Safe Zone of no-web.
And then there is silence.
Wish granted.
-Beryl
Woo Update:
Woo does this thing my dad likes to call "Crocodile Eyes."
This is Woo asleep, as per usual.
This is Crocodile Eyes:
**Edited again to add: Thank you for the anonymous tipoff of the Rapper Graphs in the last comments section; I totally used them as inspiration (and will continue to) for my blog. Awesome.