Tuesday, May 24, 2011

These Kids Are Alright

So you see where this is going, right?


I Bait My Friends With My Little Ponies To Help Me Make Fun of Homophobia

If you are just now catching up, I had an impromptu contest over the weekend.  My Facebook page ad section keeps sending me "hints" about things I should do as a lesbian.  Which is somewhat perplexing because a) I didn't realize I had an automatic To Do list by being gay and b) I thought we were past the "in order to be a happy gay you have to only do gay things with only gay people" part in gaining acceptance in America.

I mean, I get that it might be nice to be able to assume everyone around me was gay as opposed to straight for once, (I am an emphatic fan of everyoneisgay.com) but that's not the reality of this world--it's not even a discussion topic for most of the world.  So when it comes to America, land of the experimental sociology, I'd rather not self-segregate/avoid the real world.  I know, I know, this isn't really homophobic, but "Lesbian Vacations" reeks of the bigger issue that I apparently should feel somewhat uncertain about being openly who I am when on vacation.  That's lame.  But, I have hope.

I was talking on the phone the other day to my friend Kacy (who by the way wishes to remain anonymous so just pretend you didn't read her name) who summed up the trajectory of acceptance in this country:

"You know for real change it takes one generation to act like the new thing doesn't bother them or freak them out so that the NEXT generation really isn't bothered by it or freaked out.  Like integrated marriage; our parents' generation was probably really sensitive and aware of an integrated couple but our generation is like 'Whatever' about it.  We just have to pretend we're cool with it and our kids won't give a crap."

Got it, Kacy.  By these calculations, we've got at least another generation or five before these kids are alright with the gay.

That, or another my little pony contest.

Why A Contest?  Why Now?

Uh...why are you questioning the possibility of getting a MY LITTLE PONY?

The Results Are In!

In this particular contest I was looking for the best witty responses to the question posted (links to other witty things, while wonderful, were not valid entries).  Contestants were given until midnight of the night  in question and I in turn spent a chunk of today in a toy store.

Oh you thought I was joking when I said I had Rainbow My Little Ponies to give out.
You were wrong.
And yes, that's Jared Diamond's "Guns, Germs and Steel" holding up 1st Place.
1st Place goes to Heather, for her fantastic allusion to Chevy Chase movies in the 1980s and Margaret Cho in one fell swoop.

2nd Place goes to Viqui, for encouraging my fantasy that straight women I have crushes on go on vacation specifically to become lesbian.

3rd Place goes to Adrian, for making me laugh and not understand fully why simultaneously.

Lastly, we have THREE honorary mentions for this week's contest:

Best Pun - Dani, for the coinage of "Bi Little Ponies," she will receive this little Ostracized Gay Penguin, who is just aching to be hugged: 

I wanted to get a punny object in return of her efforts.
 But, it turns out word games are in the lame side of any given toy store.
Best Imagery - Seth, for his use of describing all vacations entailing, "lots of driving, then lots of drinking, ending up sunburned with the realization that there was someplace better you could have gone," will receive this My Little Mule:

And finally, for her COURAGEOUS attempts at finding the answer to an infinitely answerable question (and her incredible attempt to reach infinity with her numerous responses) we have Elana, for her Dastardly Obvious answer:

Elana shall receive one Captain Obvious Eyepatch:

Curious what some of the responses were?  

Ah, brilliant.


p.s. Reminder to all 
finalists:  You have until this Friday evening to contact me and claim your prize.  I'm serious.  I've got these suckers and they need your lovin' arms.

p.p.s. Yes, I purposefully blocked out all last names and profile pictures because HEY I don't know who's lurking out there and to be honest, I would rather be extra cautious in this here wide world of the internets. And I just realized mine is totally uncensored.  Ah, life.

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